A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me.
I got sent to the principal office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, “HOTWHEELS!”
I was at school when i remembered i forgot my necklace then i screamed out, "SHIT I FORGOT GRANDPA."
Therapy -Expensive -Years of hard work -Emotionaly draining -Tough to find
Screaming in the woods -Free -Immediate relief -Scares hunters enough to leave therefore saving innocent animals -Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods
i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
you know your fucked when the speed bump screams.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming
Ayo the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog, with a sudden inspirational thought he picks the frog up, shoves a fire cracker up the frogs arse, lights the cracker and blows the frog to smithereens. Now at school the teacher asks the class :" Has any body got any thing for show and tell this morning"? Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis". "Ok Johnny, What do you have to share with the class today"? Little Johnny then says " Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frogs arse" the teacher interrupts and says " It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum". Johnny then says " Fucking oath it wrecked ; him'.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
Why was the chicken screaming? He had an egg stuck in his butt.
My freind said he wanted to die and I told him not to jump but when he screamed hi im jhonny Knoxville and welcome to jackass I knew it was over
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works. My victims still scream.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the usa 2. They’re like the forth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming
one time little johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree and he moved the stoll and the tree broke. little johnny screamed. " HAHA Your skinny enough to break the tree"
