Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Scientist Jokes
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
