Scientist jokes
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Memes
Who would you choose?
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.