Scientist jokes
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Stand? Wait. No.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.