Scientist jokes
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.