Scientist jokes

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Stephen.

Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?

Answer: No, neither did he.

Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?

He can't do stand-ups.

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?

Neither has he.

Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

What’s black and at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.