Scientist jokes
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Who would you choose?
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
What was Stephen Hawking's pet?
A hawk.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.