School jokes
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Memes
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
Why don't teachers give orphans homework? Because they can't go home...
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.