School jokes
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."