School jokes

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?

Because they have a home room.

There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?

He's Dahmer's son @domink.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

Teacher: We are going to Seville.

Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

'Cause he wanted higher grades.