School jokes

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

What is yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3