School jokes
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)