School jokes

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

Why did the school shooter earn extra points?

Because he was on a kill streak.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?