School jokes

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

Why are orphans rude at school?

What's the school going to do? Call their parents?

Don't bully.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

Why is it okay to bully an orphan?

It’s not like they could tell their parents.

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.