School jokes

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

[Parent’s signature: __________]

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.

Why are orphans rude at school?

What's the school going to do? Call their parents?

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

Don't bully.

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

AP Chemistry.

What flies around the school at night?

Alpha-bats!

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.