School jokes

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.

What is yellow and does not float well?

A school bus.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"

Little Johnny said, "No, what?"

She answered, "The principal's office."

Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"

The teacher answered, "No, what?"

"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.

My teacher is a rapist.