School jokes
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
When the school lets you near children again...
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.