School jokes

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

When the school lets you near children again...

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

My favorite species is a cheetah because

Ima cheet-ah on the test.

A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.

The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

[Parent’s signature: __________]

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!