School jokes

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

When the school lets you near children again...

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

My favorite species is a cheetah because

Ima cheet-ah on the test.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.

The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

[Parent’s signature: __________]

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

Why are orphans rude at school?

What's the school going to do? Call their parents?