One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded
so a kid is taking a test and the paper says "in a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, and a pink bed, and a pink tv, and a pink cat, what colour are the stairs?"
so the kid answers pink like the idiot he is
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
Kms
what do you call a priest that graduated from law school
father in law
are you a white van because i would love to put children in you.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
i saw a monkey outside of school and said a look a monkey i got expelled the next day.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"
Why do orphans hate health ed at school? Their parents cant op them out of it.
Today we had a test on september 11th in school. I got a 9/11
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA? The class divides.
Muslim child to his mother "mom why is my backpack so heavy ?" Mom: "allah akbar my son allah akbar"
What did the depressed kid do in P.E play with the Jump Rope but they used it the wrong way
When the school shooter says "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
jimmy does stand up comedy he says “what do you call an orangutang”
jake replies “YOU” then everyone including the teacher laughs jimmy cries
LOL
When i was in middle school i was on my bus and people were doin hairline jokes and i heard this guy say "Your hairline goes back to..... uhhhhhh..... 2042?
