School jokes

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!