School jokes
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.