School jokes

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”

The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.

Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents