School jokes

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs!

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.