School jokes

Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs!

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.