School jokes

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs!

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.