School jokes
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.