School jokes

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.

A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.

A quiet kid brings an MP5.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs!

A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"

The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?