School jokes
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.