Scare Jokes

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.

Seven ate nine.

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”

THE ANIMATRONICS BE LIKE WHEN YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMP SCARED

The image shows a red, fox-like animatronic figure with a hook for a hand, standing against a black background. It has a wide open mouth, showing its teeth. It looks like Foxy from the video game Five Nights at Freddy's. Text on image: "THE ANIMATRONICS BE LIKE WHEN YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMP SCARED."

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?

He was scared to get across.

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

Why is 6 scared of 7 Because 7 8 9

Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.

So guys, I have a friend, who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her, I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

1) did you hear the one about the school shooting- Actually I better not...... You wouldn't understand it's aimed more towards a younger audience 2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9 so why was 10 scared because it was in between 9-11 3) 10 dead babies

Im evilest-evil man yes you are-scared guy No me it me: Evil super evil boy

why was the cow scared cause he had a nightmoor

why is 6 scared of 7 cuz 789 but whys is 10 scared cuz he is in the middle of 911

Wait till the end

Why was 6 afraid of 7 because 789

But Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 911

Your mama is so ugly she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.