Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
Scare Jokes
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I'm evilest-evil man.
"Yes, you are," scared guy.
No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.