Scare jokes
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
Why was nine scared of ten?
Because five was a registered twelve offender.
Wait, can I try the joke again?
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Why was 6 scared?
Because 7 8 9.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.