Scare jokes
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
Why is 10 always scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
I'm evilest-evil man.
"Yes, you are," scared guy.
No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.