Say jokes

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"

The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

What did the two oceans say to each other?

Nothing. They just waved.

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

When you say to your dad...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dad be like...

Who wants my son?

Nan be like, "Me!"

Kid be like...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

What are roux, says nan?

Um, they're your life savings!

Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."