Say jokes
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!