Say jokes

Man says, "What's Ligma?"

Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

Baby says nothing, she transgender.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

What did the orphan say to his mom?

Where are you?

What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?

It’s just a rental.

You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD

What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?

What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.

Let's just say Dawn got very mad.

Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.

What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!

What did the knight say when he went to bed?

"Good Knight!" lul

What did one pillow say to the other?

Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"