Say jokes
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.