Say Jokes

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick" His boss replies, "you don't sound sick" The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone

How do you know when an orphan is lying.

When they say I swear on my mother’s life

Who says ‘white men cant jump’ they certainly did when the twin towers were falling

how do you help a depressed kid face their fears... u count to 3 and say jump>

What do you say to a women with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've told her twice.

Do you want to play titanic?

When i say iceberg you go down on me

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"

Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "you forgot the remote"

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no

guy spills milk on a me i say " it's OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes...

I've seen too many of them get elected.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey Jim!"

A drunk walks into and says, "All lawyers are a$$holes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an a$$hole!"

What did the beaver say to his son? Dam son

My friend: "Yo, stupid." Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?" My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever." Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."