Say

Say jokes

Rape

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

Cow

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

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  • Woman

    What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?

    Wrong.

    Jap

    What did the little boy say to the fat man?

    How many Japs did you get?

  • 0
  • Horse

    Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

    "Moo!" says the second.

    Memes

    Roman

    A Roman walks into a bar.

    He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."

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  • House

    What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

    "Get off me homes."

  • 3
  • Life Support

    My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

  • 6
  • Love

    A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

    Asian man

    An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

    The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

    The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

    Funeral

    Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.

    Family Secret

    Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

    Iceberg

    What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?

    "I'd smash that."

    School Shooter

    When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

    Google

    I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

    Point

    I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

    Fart

    What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

    Name

    There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"