Say jokes

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!

"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"

Other person: "We will be fine."

10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"