Say jokes
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
What did the wall say to the wall?
"Meet you at the corner."
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"