Say jokes
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What did the triangle say to the circle? Ur mom.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.
He asked, "Is somting wong?"
The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Say "I cup" but in words.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.