Say jokes

Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).

What do you say to an upset German?

Quit being such a sauerkraut!

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

What did the parent say to M.J.?

"Get off my kid!"

Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."