Say jokes
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"