Say jokes
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.