Say jokes

What did 0 say to 8?

"Hey, nice belt!"

What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?

I yam.

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

What did Steven Hawking say?

Nothing.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What did the racist Catholic priest say?

"Martin Luther? Not my king!"

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What did the rock say to the flower?

Rocks can't talk. -.-