Say jokes
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"