Say jokes

Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

Stop horsing around!

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

What did one copper say to the other? C U.

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

Why can’t orphans eat cereal?

It says, "Family size."

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?

"What hap-HENd?"

What do you say to make a redhead mad?

Anything.

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."