when ever you see an orphan taking a selfie photo bomb him and say "family photo"
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense)
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
orange:hey apple apple hey apple: what? orange: orange you glad i didn't say apple again hahaha
the bear walked into the bar and said can i have a cola and a............wisky the bar tender says whats with the big paws
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
little johnny father seas if them boys say anther bad word i'm going to whoop them and little johnny brother sey's i'll like sum fuking food and he whoop him and little johnny sey's he wood i'll like sum food at lest i didnt i'll like sum fuking food by.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Granny's says. don't worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What did the chicken say when he saw ahuman running around uncontrollably? "its running around like a human with its head cut off"
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
