Say jokes

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.

What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."

What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

How to Make an Orphan cry

Step 1: Talk about Home.

Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!