What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
Say Jokes
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
