Say jokes
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.
I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did the goat say?
"Let's play the grass!"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.