Say jokes

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"

What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?

"STUPID VINIGGER!"

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

I'm about to say this but.....

*whentheimposterissus*

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.