Saw jokes

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!