Saw

Saw jokes

Man

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Hairline

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Friend

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Mother

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Orphan

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

Wrist

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

Boomer

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

Lesson

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

Name

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

Guy

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Banana Peel

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Masturbation

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

Homeless

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

God

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.