Saw jokes

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.