Saw jokes

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."