I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.
Except it had no home button.
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
