I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
