Santa jokes
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!