A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Why can’t Santa have kids
He only cums once a year
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Why is Santa so fat? He only comes once a year
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
