Santa

Santa jokes

Garden

    • What did Santa use as a candy cane?

    Wait, wait, I said it wrong.

    Okay.

    What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.

    Santa memes

    Christmas

    • It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

    He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

    But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

    Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

    Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

    (Santa winks at you)

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    • Dad

    • My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

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    • Computer

    • Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

    Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

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    • Santa Claus

    • When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

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    • Bin Laden

    • What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

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    • Christmas

    • You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

    How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

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