Santa jokes
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Memes
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*