Santa jokes
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*