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Sally

Sally jokes

How did you get Sally into a blender?

- Without much resistance.

How do you get Sally out of a blender?

- Tortilla chips.

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

Why did Sally drown in the pool?

She had no arms, remember.

Hereā€™s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?

Because she had no arms.

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    • One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

    "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

    Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

    "Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

    "No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

    "No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

    "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

    "Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

    "Okay daddy!"

    *long pause*

    "Okay daddy! I did it!"

    "Great job Sally! What did she say?"

    "Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

    Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

  • 1

    • What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?

    Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.

  • 2

    • Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

    Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

    Whatā€™s worse than Sally in one trash can?

    Sally in 13 trash cans.

    What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?

    "I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"