Said jokes

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"