Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be? In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ̈Hey they want to party with us! ̈Timmy yelled over the whooping. ̈Party van! ̈I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ̈P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. ̈Isn’t that right mommy? ̈
i gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped? No-one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up"
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
whats yellow and cant swim
a school bus full with children
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
I hate wearing a mask in public
