Why boys feel safe at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch? Ronald McDonald's don't put his meat between boy's buns
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can't Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn't there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire HOTWHEELS
What’s the difference between a child and someone who been kidnapped?? One of them is a domesticated pet
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
you dont need a parachute to go skydiving you only need a parachute to go skydifing twice
what is it called when someone is in a wheel chair and in a fire?
(hot wheels...)
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- he robbed children of their innocence
Someone threatened to break into my house but I am in a wheelchair, I said sure and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
Teachers: when ever there’s a school shooting hide under the desk Students: hiding under desk Shooter: Well no ones in here
Wen you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
