Sad jokes
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
Why am I so sad?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.