Sad jokes
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
My life </3 XD :'(
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.