Run jokes

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

Why do orphans play baseball?

Because they have to run back to home base.

Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?

Why can’t orphans have sex?

Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?

Because they don't have titties.

Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

Story done. Please like.

If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.

DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.

And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.