Romance jokes

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.

I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

Why can’t the blind man find love?

It’s called love at first sight.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

"I will Always Love You!"

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.