Romance

Romance jokes

Sun

    • Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

    Her: Awww... Yes!!!

    Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

  • 1

    • Marriage

    • A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...

    ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.

    "My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."

    The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'

    They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'

    Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...

    Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."

    She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"

    Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"

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    • Romance memes

    Fart

    • But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

    After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

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    • Hitler

    • You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

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    • Heart

    • Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

    Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

    Boy: “Yeah, why?”

    Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

    Date

    • There is a man and a woman on a date.

    The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

    The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

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    • Attraction

    • When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

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    • Crush

    • I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

  • 4

    • Date

    • When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

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