Robbery jokes
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
So they could be wanted.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!