Robbery jokes

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-

Grand Theft Otter!

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.